ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I want a musical about memes.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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