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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
