Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My life is pants optional.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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