why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
