Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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