dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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