i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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