not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
