I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
