i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
