in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
