We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize