Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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