So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
