we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
