do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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