if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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