His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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