You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
