the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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