the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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