life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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