Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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