I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
