I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
