ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
