im about as happy as oj after his trial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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