i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
