I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
