who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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