Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
