I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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