we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
