i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
