Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
