Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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