she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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