Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
