First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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