I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize