I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
