just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
