did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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