Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
