He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
