I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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