great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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