You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
