He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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