he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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