Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
