Did you just see the Batmobile???
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
