he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She said her name was "party"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
