Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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