I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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