Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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