yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
