that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
