Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize