if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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