Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
