shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
